Next time there's a string cheese bomb, call me.

Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

Over the weekend, some kids apparently took some string cheese, made it look like a bomb and left it at a market in Centerville, Utah.

It took police, with the aid of bomb dogs, two hours to figure out the device was really string cheese.

Centerville, despite it's clever-sounding name, isn't really located in the center of Utah. It's located four hours south of here somewhere around Salt Lake City.

If this problem ever occurs again, I encourage law enforcement officers there to give me a call.

I can solve the problem.

I love cheese. All types of cheese, including string cheese. There is almost always string cheese in my fridge. I love it, I can eat it anytime of the day. I even like to eat it before I grab a beer and jump in the shower after a good run. It's great stuff.

So next time there's a suspicious package of cheese laying around, they should just give me a call, I'll come down and eat the problem away (but not with ranch. Yes, you really can find just about anything on YouTube).

I'm not trying to be a hero or anything, I just want to do my part to help make the world a better place.

Oh, and did you know you can listen to string cheese?

Or, ever wonder how it gets to be stringed?

And, string cheese bombs aren't funny. It cost tax payers and store owners a few thousand dollars because some kids thought they might be. Remember kids, making fake bombs, not cool. Stealing stuff from Wal-Mart? Still not cool, but probably a little bit better than fake bomb alerts. Know where a cool place to spend the summer is? No, not this city, but the library. They have free books there, and they let you steal them, as long as you bring them back by a certain time.