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Why you shouldn't vote for McCain
Posted Wednesday, October 8, at 3:03 PM
I was watching the presidential debates a few weeks ago and noticed something odd about John McCain.

As Barack Obama was speaking, McCain was busy writing notes with his left hand. I wondered if anyone else would notice this.

Last night, I was watching the second presidential debate/town hall meeting and my mom noticed the same thing.

"He's left handed," my mother pointed out.

It turns out, it's true. He's a lefty, I know because I checked. It said so on Wikipedia it must be true.

I can't vote for a man who's left handed. I just can't do it. Only seven to 15 percent of the population is left handed, so they must be wrong. Why else would the mouse be on the right side of the keyboard if we weren't all supposed to be right handed?

Left handed people think with the right side of their brain. Right handed people think with their left side, I need a president who thinks with the same side of the brain I do.

And what if I were to meet the president some day and wanted to give him a high five? If I try to high five him with my right hand and he uses his left, won't that just be awkward? Our thumbs would line up and people might think we're trying to do a buddy clap and we'd look ridiculous.

I'd have to settle for the non man- man hug and that wouldn't be cool.

And apparently, some experts believe left-handed people are more independent because they've had to get along in a world that's not made for them. This doctor said left handed people are "slightly more resistant to social pressures, to have more of an independent streak."

McCain has shown his independent streak by voting against Bush policies nine percent of the time. That man is a maverick, maybe a little bit too much of a maverick for me. That's why I need a right-handed president.

Left handed people's eyes adjust better under water, giving them an advantage in swimming. That's pretty close to cheating. How can we elect a swimming-cheater to the highest office in the land?

Left handed people are also reportedly really good at tennis, badminton, fencing and squash. With a skill set like that, does a left-handed man even have time left to run an entire country? What if a general needs to talk to the president about an urgent national security matter and the president's like, "sorry, I'm busy playing squash, I'll get back to you in an hour," and in the meantime, we're all getting attacked and are about to become the United States of Canada? I can't be Canadian, I don't know French.

And why do they get to be called southpaws? I'm not a northpaw and I'm right handed, not fair. That's just another reason why we right handed people shouldn't like left handed people or elect one as president.

Does it sound ridiculous to vote against McCain because of what hand he uses to write his name?

Not anymore than deciding to vote against Obama because of the color of his skin.

There are dozens of reasons you should consider when voting next month. Don't get hold up on the ones that don't matter.



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Robert J. Taylor
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The idea behind Robert's Random is for me to write about whatever I'm thinking about whenever I'm thinking it. I try to write 3-5 times a week, but sometimes real work gets in the way of that. Sometimes I'll share whatever random thought I might have that day but most of the time, I like to write about things going on in the news. I'm a total news junkie, I spend a lot of time online at various news sites. If I find a story where someone does something totally stupid or I wonder "what were they thinking?" I don't mind pointing it out incase others missed it or taking my best guess at what they were thinking. I like to laugh, I like to make others laugh. There's so much serious and wrong stuff going on in the news that when I find an unusual or light story, I like to use it. And while real life news events might be the focus of many of my blogs, I'm just trying to entertain you, make you laugh and maybe even think about something you didn't know before reading. I'm not trying to break any serious news or deliver any hard-hitting coverage. You'll have to read a paper or watch one of the network shows for that.
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