Who can tell a soldier in uniform no?

It doesn't matter where a soldier goes or for how long, when the duty, tour or training is completed, we all want the exact same thing: to get home as quickly as possible. I was no different this weekend after I fulfilled my two-week annual obligation to the Idaho National Guard. While the training lasted only two weeks, it was a long two weeks since the second week was spent living out of a ruck sack, sleeping on the ground and eating MRE's (think military lunchable) for every meal. The fact that two weeks was apparently enough time for New Kids on the Block to get back together, shoot a music video and release a tour schedule only adds to the length of time it felt like I was gone.

When I flew from Boise to the Sea/Tac airport, Alaska Airlines waived their extra baggage fee to accommodate my additional duffle bag since I was traveling on military orders. My return ticket was for Sunday night but I was released on Saturday afternoon so I thought calling the airline to see if I could change my return flight seemed like a good idea. As I dug though the bag I thought my orders and return flight information were in, I discovered I couldn't find a copy of either one. My first thought was that I had lost these documents but I quickly remembered that all of my stuff had been confined to a 10-foot space while I was there so they couldn't have gone far. After checking my backpack again and my wall locker, I knew exactly where they were, at the bottom of one of the two duffle bags I had already packed. Or as I chose to tell the story, lost, since there was no way I was going to dump out and repack my bags if I didn't have to. I was able to use 1-800-free-411 to get a hold of the airline and they were able to change my flight for no additional cost. A buddy I made during the course agreed to give me a ride to the airport since he had to drive by there on his way home anyways. He was in a hurry, so I didn't have time to change out of my uniform but kept my clothes in my carry on bag so I could change after checking in and getting past security.

He dropped me off at the airport and I was feeling pretty happy about getting to go home 22 hours earlier than I expected. The first thing I noticed at the airport was there were no service counters like I have seen at every other airport. There you check in electronically using a monitor then take your bags to one of two ladies who put a sticker on them, weighs them and sends them on their way. After a few minutes, I was able to figure out how to check in without knowing any of my flight information until the computer demanded I pay the extra baggage fee for my second duffle bag. There were only two buttons to push, one said "cash," the other said "credit/debit card." There wasn't an "I have military orders and don't have to pay the fee" button, so I wasn't sure how to proceeded. I canceled my check-in process and headed to talk to one of the two ladies at the baggage check-in point while leaving my bags by the monitor so I wouldn't have to carry them back in the event she sent me straight back to the computers. I start to tell the lady what was going on and she told me to go get my other two bags then come stand at the front of the line on the other side of the rope-people-directing things. I do as I'm told and when she's done helping the next customer, she turns to me and ask how she can help me. I started to explain to her I had tired to check in but wasn't sure what to do once I got to the extra baggage fee step since I was traveling on orders. She began to check me in and when she got to the baggage fee step, I explained to her that when I had flown there, I wasn't required to pay the fee but I had since lost my orders and wanted to know if the fee could still be waived for my return flight. She asked me if I had completed my mission. I told her I had in fact completed my training and was headed home. She then told me that their policy included only those times you fly on your way to a mission but does not apply once the mission as been completed. I quickly explained to her that I hadn't completed my mission and that the mission was to complete my training then go home and so the mission wouldn't be over until I returned home. I could tell by her facial expression she wasn't sure if she believed my reasoning or not but I could also tell that since I was standing in front of her in my uniform flashing my smile for all that it's worth, she wasn't about to tell me no. She agreed not to make me pay the extra fee then asked if any of my bags weighed more than 50 pounds. I told her I wasn't sure but they weren't when I packed them originally but to repack, I just threw things where they would fit. I put the first one on the scale and it weight 42 pounds then I set the second one on the scale and it read 51.8 pounds. She said "close enough." I told her about the time I had flown somewhere else and the lady made me take out a pair of jeans out of my bag to get under the weight limit. She then told me that had I hadn't been wearing a uniform, I'd be reliving that experience and rearranging my bags.

Alaska Airlines offers a free glass of beer on its flights and TSA didn't decide to randomly search me or my stuff, so the return trip was almost perfect. I was standing at the baggage pick up point waiting for my bags to come out and I saw my first duffle bag come rolling around in two pieces. I was pretty upset at the sight of seeing my open duffle bag with an Army-issued $400 sleeping bag that I'm signed for (well, actually, Trevor Rapp is signed for it, he just let me borrow it) sitting next to it and wondered if TSA had read this blog. I also found out about four seconds later that I'm still not old enough to use the F word in front of my mother. Now that I think about it, I don't know if anyone is ever old enough to use the F word in front of their mom.

So I collected my bags, and their pieces, and headed into Mountain Home where I had plans to meet up with a buddy at the Blues Festival. Said friend's dad was one of the many sponsors of the event and his family had VIP passes, which meant they could drink for free, which meant, I too could drink for free. An open bar is either the best or worse thing one can come across after a few weeks of Army-sponsored sobriety. I thought it was a good thing Saturday night, however, Sunday morning I had a different opinion but was thankful I hadn't completely abused the free alcohol pass and called it a night semi-early. Anyways, I was feeling pretty good about life after finishing a year-long training program, getting to come home a day early and drinking from a bottomless margarita cup when my phone rang. The caller ID showed I was getting a call from Texas. Since I don't know anyone in Texas who'd be calling me, I assumed it was someone else calling me on a calling card from another country and headed away from the music into the dirt parking lot between the cheese plant and Optimist Park. I was pleasantly surprised to hear my sister's voice on the other line. She's spending the year in Korea and had called to tell me I am going to be an uncle. I was pretty excited because I've wanted to be an uncle for a long time. I like kids, but since I know I'm not ready to have them yet, having nieces and nephews seems like the next best thing. In my mind, being an uncle is like having part-time kids I can play with, spoil to death, never tell them no to anything and then send them home to their parents at the end of the day. It's like having the best of both worlds in that respect. I did my happy dance in the parking lot but onlookers probably confused it with the drunk guy dance. She also told me her follow up orders will land her in Hawaii for the next three years, so I haven't figured out yet how borrowing her kids from time to time is going to work yet, but I'm pretty sure I'll have the perfect excuse to vacation in Hawaii for the next few years.