Condom fun in Antarctica

According to this news article- http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25054286/?GT1=43001 - it's going to be dark in Antarctica from now until Aug. 20.

So, to help prepare for the period of darkness, a U.S. research base just received it's last shipment for the its winter season.

Included in the shipment was 16,500 condoms.

The condoms will be handed out for free to "avoid the potential embarrassment of having to buy them."

A small base, much like a small town, is probably pretty close and so it may be embarrassing to buy condoms from someone you know and than have to worry that they will start spreading rumors of your purchase and who you may or may not be using them with.

However, the people at this base seem to be closer than most as 16,500 condoms for a winter population of 125 might suggest.

That's 132 condoms per person, or enough for everyone to have sex with everyone twice (the first time you use yours, then theirs the second time).

I think the summer population is close to a 1,000, which would allow everyone to have 16.5 condoms.

However it breaks down to, the year supply of condoms will last if residents of the continent restrict themselves to using only 45 a day, or one roughly every half hour, for the next year.

Assuming the guy to girl ratio isn't that great, the majority of the male population is straight and the majority of the small women population isn't sluts, there's going to be a lot of leftover condoms this time next year.

Unless of course, the people of Antarctica find creative uses for the supply of rubbers.

Here are a few alternative uses for condoms I found searching the Internet for a few minutes.

Water balloons

Though, they may be more like ice balloons down there, so on second thought, cross this one off the list.

Wet suit for ferret

I'm not sure how many people bring their pets with them down there, but I imagine if you don't like any of the other 124 people you work and live with, bringing your own friend may not be a bad idea. And of course, you'll want him to stay dry when you take him swimming.

Fill with rocks and use to as a weapon in a crisis situation

I'm pretty sure, based off my wild imagine and movies I've seen, everyone runs around in Antarctica with spear guns and clubs to fight off attacking penguins and seals - http://www.antarcticconnection.com/ab1583000equick/shopexd.asp?id=2083 - so I'm not sure if rock-filled condoms would be necessary down there or not.

One time, when I was a little kid, I got into a fight with a neighborhood kid. A neighborhood kid holding a bag of marbles. He wasted little time swinging his bag of marbles around and hitting me in the face with them and sending me home crying. I'm pretty sure a rock-filled condom would serve the same purpose, with the added element of the humiliation of being slapped in the face with a condom.

Fill one with helium and tie a note to it.

This is a practical suggestion. The majority of everyone down there are scientist and probably have access to helium, if it's down there. Then, instead of getting out of their igloo late at night to pass a note to a buddy in another igloo, they could tie the note to a condom filled with helium. (Than they can use their spears to shoot it to the ground.)

Get 1000 and make a submarine.

After work, there can't be a whole lot of recreation options down there. With a somewhat endless supply of condoms and nothing else to do, I could see this happening.

Blow a bunch up and tie them to the cars outside a wedding.

Not sure how many people tie the knot in Antarctica, or have cars for that matter, but it doesn't mean you yourself can't blow a bunch up and tie them to the cars outside a wedding. It's even better if you weren't invited to the wedding.

Put your money in one. Nobody will steal it.

This sounds like a solid idea, however, if everyone else is doing it, than there's little to stop people from stealing yours. Fortunately, there can't be that many places to spend stolen money in Antarctica.

Use 365 of them to make into a tire, and call it a "Good Year."

This suggestion has more than one purpose. Much like the sub, it could be a good way to kill a few hours after dinner one night. And by removing one every day, it can act as a countdown until the next shipment of condoms arrive.

Recycle as a Burger King ketchup baggie. (or would mayonnaise be better?)

I'm not sure if there is a BK down there or not, but I do know global warming is increasingly becoming a problem and if I were living on a solid sheet of ice, I wouldn't take any chances and recycle everything.

Put them on soda cans to keep the fizz in when you're not drinking it.

I'm not sure if this works or not. And there's a chance that the gas in the can will escape and fill the condom up like a hot air balloon, which would look cool but who wants to drink cherry-lubricant flavored soda?

When there are soil examinations, condoms would be used to store soil samples. Doing so would help prevent the sample from becoming unnecessarily moist. Such a practice also makes soil sample collection easier especially when storage factors are considered. The condom helps with protection from the elements.

This one has true scientific value, but I don't know if they dig for soil in Antarctica. But, I bet you could make killer condom snowmen.

Water proof stuff

This one is probably the most helpful suggestion on the list. Apparently, the Navy Seals use condoms to waterproof parts of their weapons.

This video shows you how to waterproof your camera, cell phone and key fobs using condoms.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/522728/buying_condoms_for_my_electronics/

Make a dress.

http://media.canada.com/gallery/condoms/375condoms2.jpg

Safe sex

And because safe sex should be taken seriously, here's a link on how to use condoms for their intended purpose because, " condom use is just like tying your shoes: tying them all the time may be a bother sometimes, but if you don't do it, you'll trip and fall on your face."

You'll also find a couple of suggestions for alternative condom use that require nakedness at the link.

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/boyfriend/condom_basics_a_users_manual