Never Ask........."What's Next?"

As I slide down the "bannister of life", I'll always remember 1991 to 1993 as slivers in my butt.

In '91, I started feeling run down, like I was out of gas all the time. After a flight to Phoenix and back to pick up firecrews, I felt like I'd been all the way to Portugal, or something. My vision was starting to get a little blurry from time to time and I was always thisty. This had gone on for about three months or so.

I finally went in to the Base Hospitial, and a blood sample showed a glucose number of 585. (you're SUPPOSED to be 70 to 120). Unknown to me, I'd become a diabetic. I couldn't figure out how that happened, as it doesn't run in my family. I'd find out a few years LATER where it came from). Anyway, they put me on pills, I started walking more, then jogging.

I eventually reached a point where I'd be catching rides out to Scrubby's, then jogging all the way back into town, once or twice a week. (If you've lived here long enough, you might have even seen me out there from time to time).

Anyway, I'd almost gotten myself back into "bootcamp shape" as '91 tuned into '92. Not long into 1992, Raleigh Tyndall died.

"MR "T", as we called him, owned and operated Airway Service for as long as I can remember. When I first came here in '72, it was the lone Mobil gas station in town. It was originally where Les Schwab is right now. Years later, it was out there by exit 90, where the commuter-ride lot is today.

He was a retired Air Force Master Sergeant who spent the rest of his life running a gas station and doing auto repairs, at which he was very good, especially on the older cars, which he preferred to work on anyway. I did a lot of business with him over the years, but my favorite memories of "Mr "T" are the hours after the work was done for the day, and we would sit around his old pot-bellied stove in that place, and he'd tell stories of some of the deer hunts he'd been on....an old Hudson Hornet he once owned, and just a lot of stories of when HE was growing up in the 40's.

We'd drink coffee and I would listen intently of a time that sounded even BETTER than the 50's & 60's I'D grown up in!

And then one morning, he didn't come in. He wasn't with us anymore. What Next?

A few months later, we all found OUT "what's next?", when SCRUBBY got sick and died. I played music at the largest funeral I'd ever attended. I previously wrote an entire blogpost on Scrubby. It took a lot of folks by surprise. As with my dad in '88---------cigarettes were a big factor in Scrubby's health. Scrubby was a good friend and we played a lot of memorable dinner shows out there.

THEN......when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Bill Clinton got elected in November. 22 years of active duty plus a combat tour in 'Nam, and I get to watch a DRAFT-DODGER take the reins as "Commander-In-Chief." A slap in the face to Veterans everywhere. Why didn't they just appoint Jane Fonda as head of the V.A. and be DONE with it!

Well.......diabetes, Tyndall, Scrubby, Clinton, what next? Things turned to crap at home as we get into '93, and just DAYS after the divorce is final, I got word from the Red Cross that my oldest son Dennis, who is working in Phoenix, had just been killed in an auto accident down on Interstate 8.

Bang-bang-bang......things like this happening one behind the other within months of each other. You drop to your knees and ask "why?" You feel like you're suddenly being singled out------it HAS to be "somebody ELSE's turn" by now, shouldn't it?

My dad smoked himself to death----we knew it was coming. Mr Tyndall was elderly and had a heart history, so HIS death wasn't too much of a surprise, and Scrubby himself had previously confided in me that he knew he was dying.

But now Dennis?? 5 days shy of what would have been his 20th birthday? And this is one you are NEVER ready for...........your kids are NOT supposed to die before YOU do. Nothing I'd faced in Vietnam was as tough as this one. You don't know what to do. There IS nothing you can do.

One think you DON'T do...........you don't ask "What's Next?

Even today, I'll catch myself doing that. Something will go wrong, followed by another mishap in the same time-frame, and I've caught myself saying "WHAT NEXT?" or maybe something like "Well, at least nothing ELSE can happen today!"..............I really have to watch that.

Immediately after the funeral, I took a few days just to get out of town for a few days, to basically get away from everything and everybody for a little bit. The new fire season was at hand and I'd be getting called back to work shortly. I welcomed it, as it would keep me busy.

Prior to Dennis' death, I'd bought an old 1953 Kaiser Manhattan 4-door sedan. Fixing IT up and getting it running would give me something to do in my off-time. Tracking down PARTS to get the job done burned up some serious time as well.

Soon, I was back with the BLM in my 5th fire season, right back in there with the other guys, getting our fuel trucks and other ground service equipment ready. It was a nice place to wotk, and easily the best civilian job I would ever have.

I'd been reloading my own ammunition for a few years now, and the weekend weather was good for experimenting with various rifle & handgun loads. I'd be out there every chance I got. I have always enjoyed shooting. Still do, but as I look out the dining room window this morning, it sure doesn't look like I'm gonna get out there TOSAY! MISERABLE looking weather. Yesterday was absolutely "PERFECT" conditions..........but I had to get Donna's Mustang finished up. The last couple of items on that retoration........then of course, I had to get some pictures.

Not a problem! I'll just shoot TOMORROW (which is TODAY)----------wrong.......it's heavily overcast, supposed to rain, and even if the weather was GOOD, it's Saturday, when I would NOT have a shooting area to myself. Same for tomorrow. Gotta go to the V.A. Monday, Bible Study Tuesday, Donna's off Wednesday & Thursday so I don't know yet what SHE might want to do, maybe Friday........no......jam seesion......then the weekend again..........

What next?.............oops!