To Play Or Not To Play

It won't be Christmas until tomorrow, but a week ago, my wife bought me a new guitar for an "early Christmas present. We were doing some last minute shopping in Boise for a few odds & ends, and we stopped at Guitar Center on Curtis & Fairview.

Guitar Center is one of my favorite places, because as a guitar player, you ALWAYS need new strings on something, picks, power cords, etc.

But it's also a "dangerous place' because the walls are LINED with the "latest & greatest" from Gibson, Gretsch, Martin, Epiphone, Ibanez, Fender and several other popular makes. And they run the scale from a couple hundred bucks for "beginner guitars"---to Eight grand and more for high-end Gisbson and Gretsch's.

I've been playing 40 years (come next November) and already HAVE a dozen guitars, five of which I play on stage, that include 2 Gretsch guitars, an Epiphone (made by Gibson), a Texas Kona and a Takamine 12-string.

I also still have the first guitar I ever owned.......an old thirty-five dollar Montgomery Ward model I bought new in 1969......AND......I also have "Scrubby's" old guitar, given to me by his widow, Karen............and a few others.

Needless to say, I don't really NEED another one, and I'm very careful about wandering around that store, when I'm just up there getting new strings...........because I KNOW ME!

Well..........the other day, my wife Donna & I were up there, because they had a special remote box that allows you to play an electric guitar without a power cord attached to the amplifier via an electronic signal...........eliminates the "20 feet of spaghetti" all over the stage floor, to trip over. They had only ONE of these units left, so I'd told them over the phone to put my name on it, & I was on the way.

Donna had been having a tough time deciding what to get me for Christmas, and as I tell her every year (and TRUTHFULLY), that I already have HER and there's nothing more I need. But she said...."Well, I'm going to buy you that remote unit you want."................"ok."

When we got there, we wandered around a little until the sales counter cleared and we could get the unit. She spotted this beautiful Epiphone hollowbody electric. Very pretty maple, with rosewood fingerboard and mother-of-pearl inlay, gold plating in places, very ornate.

"Isn't THIS pretty?" she said.

"Yeah, it's an Epiphone too, made by Gibson, so I'm sure it plays as good as it looks."

KNOWING BETTER than to do it.........I picked it up, plugged it in to one of the floor amplifiers and played it. Then I played it some MORE.....neck was perfect, good tone balance between those Humbucking pickups, bridge height couldn't have been better.........it played every BIT as good as it looked.

"Oh crap", I thought..........."oh crap."

We'd only driven up there for that remote unit, and here I sat on this stool running up and down the neck of this gorgeous instrument. Donna's looking down at me, smiling and asking "Do you WANT it?"....(which is like asking a cat if he wants tunafish).

Before I could conjure up some sort of response, she "sweetened the pot"................"I'll buy you the guitar TOO, and we'll call it an "early Christmas present" as well!"

Watcha gonna do? Watcha gonna say?..........except "THANK YOU HONEY!!!"

Now for the dilemma.........Mike Landers. We play guitars alongside of each other in our church. His wife Marilyn is our music leader and pianist.

Over the course of the last 3 years, he and I have added to our "music inventories" and have done it with "sympathetic finesse...."

He would buy a new accoustic guitar with a certain feature, so I would "hint around" that I should probably have one too, so the overall sound would be "balanced" up there during the service. Donna would be fine with that. so I'd buy one.

After a little while, Mike would hit Marilyn up for a new attachment to his amplifier to enhance the sound. I saw a rare Orpheum resonator guitar on EBay, and wimpered a little, that Marilyn just let Mike have "such-and-such."

When I brought it to church and played a solo with it one Sunday, he mentioned to her..........."see what DONNA let Bradbury have?"...and it wasn't long until he had a new guitar HIMSELF.

Well...........this went on for awhile until the two wives got together after the service one Sunday and figured out what was happening................"these guys are milking this for all it's worth!"..................Landers and I were "BUSTED!"

So.......a sort of "moratorium" was laid down until further notice.

Adding a little salt into the wound, the VERY NEXT SUNDAY, Curly Surles, who is also a member of our church, shows up to sing a solo that morning and uncases a BRAND NEW $3600.00 Martin, that HIS wife Linda, let HIM get. Both Mike and I at this point, KNEW better than to even bring up the subject to either of OUR wives!.....We had worn out the act!

Time went by, and Mike found a good deal on a Martin accoustic, which Marilyn let him buy...............I've been good....and it was DONNA who spotted this Epiphone the other day and bought it for me.

But it sort of came with a stipulation...........don't be flashing it in front of Mike on Sunday and say......"Look what DONNA just bought me"...........'cause then he might start whining to Marilyn for another one, and we don't want this "musical see-saw" starting up again.

So....how do I play it on Sundays WITHOUT him noticing it? We only sit a few feet apart up there!

I might just have to keep playing my regular church guitar, and debut the new one out at Curly's barn on Friday night. Mke & Marilyn never get out that way, so he won't see it.

We're having our Christmas Eve Candlelight Service tonight at 6:PM though....and I AM tempted..........!