Letter to the Editor

Tips for dealing with the deaf

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Dear editor:

I do not know what it is like to hear and many more don't know what it is like not to hear. We live in a noisy world. To most people sounds are just sounds and not much attention is given to these sounds; sounds such as a bird singing, water dripping, and more importantly other people speaking.

Most sounds are taken for granted unless one is deaf, such as I am.

I have had gradual hearing loss for a number of years and finally my world became silent. I had to quit going to any social function, ordering at a cafe or taking an active part in organizations.

Talking on the phone is not possible. I get a sinking feeling when someone gives me their phone number or a phone number is given to call for information. These are things the hearing world just doesn't think about.

Many people don't know how to react to a person that doesn't hear. I had an experience where I was attending an art show and the woman was trying to talk to me when finally I told her I was hearing impaired. She just turned around and left.

Talk about loneliness. Yes, being deaf is lonely.

I avoid places where someone might talk to me. I know I come across as antisocial but that isn't the case. I just can't understand others. It is like listening to a foreign language and I don't know the language.

Being deaf is an invisible handicap because there doesn't appear to be anything wrong with me as there is no outward physical handicap. If I were in a wheelchair or had a broken arm in a cast people would understand this disability, but with hearing loss most don't know how to react or many times just think I am mentally deficient because I don't understand.

Because our world is noisy there will be more and more people with hearing loss and deafness. It is important that those who can hear understand and help those with hearing loss or deafness.

With most visual handicaps it is easy to give assistance to that person because their needs are evident and just a bit of courtesy is needed. But how does one help the deaf person feel they are part of society? Perhaps the first thing is to recognize the person has a hearing problem. Don't just turn away because hearing impaired people have feelings that are just as important as the hearing person.

I have some suggestions that might help with communicating with the hearing impaired.

First, talk directly to them. So much communication is non-verbal and the reading of lips and facial expressions really helps. Don't cover your mouth when speaking or eating. Talk a bit slower. No, one doesn't have to drag words out excessively but some people talk very rapidly and this makes the communicating difficult.

Please, don't shout. This only amplifies the sounds we can hear and doesn't help one bit. Sometimes loud sounds are painful.

Please speak clearly, that is don't mumble. I know, people with hearing impairments are always saying people mumble. But I have had people with perfect hearing say, "that person mumbles." Enunciate and project!

I was tested for many months for various factors that would make it possible for me to have a cochlear implant. A cochlear implant is a surgical procedure and not just another hearing aid. Hearing aids are fine but even the most advanced aids just amplify the sound. After the healing the device was finally activated. The implant is not perfect and I will always have to rely upon the previous hearing suggestions. It will take months for remapping so that I might understand better.

After so many years of not hearing the brain needs to learn sounds again. It is wonderful to hear such things as my cat purr, water dripping in the sink and to have a conversation with my wife without her having to repeat everything. These are simple things that the hearing world doesn't think about, but to me they are hearing gems.

Even with the cochlear implant I am still deaf. Take away the implant and I can't hear anything.

Tom Bennick