Grub & Other Cowboy DefinitionsPosted Sunday, October 28, 2012, at 10:58 AM
GRUB: Meat So Tough, yuh had to sharpen your knife to cut the gravy.
HARDUP: He musta hard wintered by the looks of his outfit. Boots so frazzled that he couldn't scratch a match without burnin' his feet.
POOR: Steers were so thin yuh could look right through them to read the brand on the other side.
SHY: Felt out of place as a cow on a front porch.
CLEAN: Makin' lather with laundry soap and alkali water is like trying to find a hoss thief in heaven.
SCARCE: Scarce as hiccups at a prayer meeting.
LIAR: He was as shy of the truth as a goat is of feathers.
MAD: Madder'n as a rained on rooster.
HE-MAN: He stood out like a tall man at a funeral. Or my personal favorite, "He maybe don't say nothin' but it ain't safe to ask.
MEAN: Meaner'n a rattlesnake on a hot skillet.
CRAZY: He was plum weak north of his ears. Or I rekkon the heat kinda addled his think box.
HOMELY: Had a nose that you could store a small dog in.
KILLING: It was a corpse 'an cartridge occasion. He had leaned against a bullet goin' past. Took all the slack out of his rope.
And now a short story, again not in my own words:
Two Good Ol' Boys bought a couple of horses that they used to make some money during the summer.
But when winter came, they found it cost too much to board them. So they turned the horses loose in a pasture where there was plenty to eat. "How will we tell yours from mine when we pick them up?" one of them asked the other. "We'll cut the mane off of mine and the tail off of yours."
By Spring, the main and tail had grown back to normal length.
"Now what are we going to do?" asked the first.
"Why don't you just take the black one?" said the second. And I will take the white one."
We all needed some smiles this week. I hope that a little bit of cowboy humor helps you out. Have a good next week everyone.
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Walking the Fence Line
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Fixing fence is the one of the hardest jobs on a ranch. I no longer live on a ranch, but I do know what hard work is. Fences are everyone's concern, but nowadays,the "hole" is always your neighbor's side not your own. It used to be that you would respect your neighbor and mend the fence together. If their cows got in your field, a simple phone call resolved the problem. You might even saddle up your own horse and help them gather them up. We need more people who are willing to roll their sleeves up and fix the fence regardless of who your neighbor is. There are people in this country who need to be reminded that a fence is like the way you should conduct your life. Your posts should be straight and neat. The wire needs to be stretched tight and your gate might be closed, but can still be easily opened. And most of all, we can all saddle up together and ride the range, it won't matter if you have an Appaloosa, Quarter Horse or Thoroughbred. The cows still have to be gathered, fences have to be fixed, and the range is a wide open space of opportunity for us all.