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Friday, October 31, 2014

Let Me Call You Sweetheart

Posted Sunday, February 12, 2012, at 1:11 AM

(Photo)
Mom and Dad
True love comes in different packages. I have been thinking of couples who have survived the test of time and made it to their 40th, 50th, 60th or 70th wedding anniversary.

Each year is an accomplishment in itself. If you ask any of these couples just what their secret is-I am sure that their answers will all be very different.

Our Uncle Tom and Aunt Chloe were married for over 60 years. Aunt Chloe as I mentioned before was an avid reader of the Reader's Digest and was easily impressed by their health articles. Uncle Tom was a gentle courtly cowboy. His voice was soft and smooth. He always wore leather gloves even when driving. He always called her Mother and she called him "Poor Little Guy".

Our Uncle Les was Chloe's brother. He and his wife Thelma were married for over 60 years too. Aunt Thelma was a mix of salt and sugar. She was a wonderful woman with a huge library of stories to tell. But she didn't suffer fools gladly and could be a little tart when she disclosed her sister-in-law's notions. Uncle Les was a tall gentle giant with a ready smile.

Our own parents were married for 58 years. I don't think that they had any big secret as to the longevity of their relationship except that they respected each other. Like any marriage where were times when they had tiffs. Dad loved to tease and sometimes went a little too far. Mom waited on him hand and foot and spoiled him. Dad displayed his affection to our mother with simple things. A flower that he picked while he was out riding; Coffee and breakfast in bed for her birthday or a poem or letter that he had written.

Now our Uncle Frank and Aunt Rita were a hard couple to figure out. Their dynamic was bickering. He called her "old woman" and she called him "old man". Their crankiness with each other increased when each of them grew hard of hearing. We enjoyed their company when they always came for spring branding. They seemed to have more vinegar than honey in their marriage.

Our Aunt Norma was our mother's oldest sister. Widowed at a young age with 4 small children; she married again and had two more children. Uncle Bob was a big happy guy. He had a boisterous sense of humor while Aunt Norma was a little more serious. They were a devoted couple celebrating 32 years of marriage until her untimely death. I think that I will write more about her in a later blog.

There is a certain chemistry that each couple experience when they first meet. It can be powerful & explosive or a slow simmering burn. Sometimes it is just a quiet assurance that this is the person that they want to spend the rest of their life with.

Bill and Cora Davies lived here in Missouri. They had been married for over 60 years themselves when I first met them. It was Bill's comments about his wife, that helped me realize what true love was. He described how much he loved "Mama". Just holding her hand in church gave him great pleasure. He would say, "We got to hold hands in church and oh, it was so nice".

His gentleness and sweetness toward his wife gave me an insight as to what I wanted with my second chance at love and marriage. Each of these other couples and their devotion to each other was instrumental in helping recognize that I needed to be the right person when I found "Mr. Right".

David is my Sweetheart. He has gone out into the pouring rain to check the oil in my car, because I happen to mention that I think it might be low. He kills spiders for me even though I should be capable of doing that for myself. Most of all, he believes in my abilities and encourages me to go after my interests.

We all know some happy couples and some miserable ones too. Longevity in marriage is not much of an accomplishment if both of you hate or resent each other.

The icing in the cake in any marriage is that you still like each other as the years pass. Those moments of joy each couple experiences together can help them weather any storm that comes along.

And, if you are able to express your appreciation for each other with a few "magic" words- no grand gestures will be necessary. "Thank-You, I am sorry, You make me happy, I am listening, I was just thinking that myself.

And of course the most powerful phrase of all, "I Love You".


Comments
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Great stories Bonnie ..

My folks have been married over 50 years...pushing 60... I look to them for example

-- Posted by jessiemiller on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 9:38 AM

I guess I'm just 'old fashioned'. When I married, I only knew that I would do anything for her. We met on the 14th of December, 1962. We went to the movies on the 16th. Missed seeing each other only one evening from then until we married on January 26, 1963. Death came for her on May 31, 2006. We were married over 43 years. I've known quite a few couples that were married for 'life'. Yes, some of the marriages were right out of a romance novel. Some were close to being a brawl most of the time. BUT, they made it work. How did my wife and I make our marriage work? Honestly, I've given it a lot of thought. After all this time, I know that we did a lot of 'give and take'. Other than that, I really DON'T know. I guess it was just LOVE.

-- Posted by texasred777 on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 9:45 AM

The give and take comes from keeping in mind how your loved one held it together for you during a difficult time.

One must present an example in the marriage. That is what I discovered. Texas, I am sure that you miss her terribly. What a blessing it was that you had all of those years together.

-- Posted by KH Gal on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 11:04 AM

Texas, thank you for sharing your story. I love hearing those ....

-- Posted by jessiemiller on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 8:27 PM

I had to fix a fact in this for my Aunt Norma. She was married 10 years to her first husband and 32 years to Uncle Bob.

Thank you Kathy for pointing this out.

-- Posted by KH Gal on Thu, Feb 16, 2012, at 3:32 PM


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Walking the Fence Line
Bonnie Bird
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Fixing fence is the one of the hardest jobs on a ranch. I no longer live on a ranch, but I do know what hard work is. Fences are everyone's concern, but nowadays,the "hole" is always your neighbor's side not your own. It used to be that you would respect your neighbor and mend the fence together. If their cows got in your field, a simple phone call resolved the problem. You might even saddle up your own horse and help them gather them up. We need more people who are willing to roll their sleeves up and fix the fence regardless of who your neighbor is. There are people in this country who need to be reminded that a fence is like the way you should conduct your life. Your posts should be straight and neat. The wire needs to be stretched tight and your gate might be closed, but can still be easily opened. And most of all, we can all saddle up together and ride the range, it won't matter if you have an Appaloosa, Quarter Horse or Thoroughbred. The cows still have to be gathered, fences have to be fixed, and the range is a wide open space of opportunity for us all.
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