They Don't Make 'em Like They Used To

Why anyone would lay out 30 grand for a new car is beyond ME.

Two of my friends are professional mechanics, Steve Bresnahan (Steve's Auto Repair, across the street from Taco John's)......and Ted Gump (J.T.'s on Canyon Creek Road).

I stop in on each of them from time to time, and am purely baffled, watching them work on these newer cars....computer boxes, wiring harnesses, belts and vacuum hoses running everywhere. Most of the crap under these newer hoods, I can't even identify anymore.

They've had to invest in thousands of dollars worth of "diagnostic machinery" just to keep UP with all this "gee whiz" technology.

Here at our house, if Donna's Cougar needs a tune-up, I change 8 sparkplugs, change the points & condensor, set the dwell, check the timing, adjust the carburetor and close the hood.

If the fuel pump goes out in a lot of these newer ones, the whole fuel tank has to come out to change it, because the pump is INSIDE the tank...............fuel pump change in my old 64 Fairlane? About 20 minutes----2 half-inch bolts, 2 hoses and 2 clamps.

If I had an ignition problem in my wife's old Mustang, I could most likely just file the points down a bit and get home with it.........computer chip quits in your NEW Mustang? It's comin' in on a HOOK.

(Lamont told me about being a long way from home one time, and fixing a length of cruise-control linkage in his old Caddy with a paper-clip! And he drove it on HOME.) Try THAT with a brand NEW car today!

I don't turn wrenches on cars as much as I used to, and often as not, I take my cars IN to people I trust. Well, as we all know, mechanics charge by the hour, so the SIMPLER a car is, the less crap they have to MOVE to get to the problem. Labor doesn't amount to much on my old air-cooled Beetles, because when the mechanic raises the "hood" (in the REAR on an old Bug), EVERYTHING is right there in FRONT of him!

Who ever heard of having to pull an INTAKE manifold to get to a starter? You do on a newer Cadillac!

The day before yesterday, Steve changed the transmission on Donna's 66 Mustang, just a little C-4 mated-up to an inline 6. Only took about 3 hours, INCLUDING filter change and new seals in the tranny, (and the constant interuptions he gets from people walking into his shop).

Newer front wheel drive car? It would easily be an all-day job, and HALF of that just moving crap to GET to crap! And you haven't LIVED until you've worked on one of those vans like the Ford Aerostar!

They've made them a lot more complicated these days, yet they call it "progress"

Except for some of the old "holdouts" like me, the days of the "shadetree mechanic" are gone. There is very little you can do YOURSELF on a new one. You're PAYING someone else for just about everything anymore. That's just ONE of the many reasons we drive old cars in this household.

Of course, the main reason is that we both just love classic cars. If we didn't have our "little collection", we could easily have a couple of newer ones here instead, and if Donna ever wants one, she can have it. Not ME though..........I have a real tough time with the concept of laying out 25 grand for plastic & fiberglass------then watching FIVE of it disappear as soon as you drive it off the lot. I've NEVER been able to make myself DO that.

No style either.............they all look alike, both foreign and domestic. ONE-TONE paint, pinstriping instead of chrome, and a DONUT instead of a full sized spare in trunks that hold NOTHING anymore------------just doesn't motivate me to sign on anyone's "dotted line."

"Fuel efficiency"..........ok, so my old 66 T-Bird is only good for 16 & a half per gallon. Well......for the cost of a NEW one, I can put a LOT OF GAS in that old Ford......and MIKE owns it......not Mike & the Bank.---------- (4 of my 5 old VW's DO get around 40 mpg!)

A lot of years ago, I had a 59 Oldsmobile that would seat 6 ADULTS COMFORTABLY, had a trunk big enough to have a party in, and had a great big old honkin' 371 Rocket V-8 that would pull that 20-feet of steel down the freeway at 17 mpg!

My Dad had the prettiest 56 Chevy Bel Air you ever saw, 2-tone Tropical Turquoise and Ivory White, "283" Power-Pak, dual-exhaust, "3 on the tree with Overdrive". Rolling sculpture.

They don't build 'em that pretty, OR that good anymore......they're all "built-in obsolescense." If you haven't seen my old 54 VW, you WILL eventually as you drive around town. Can't miss it, it's dark blue, has the little "oval window" in the rear with venitian blinds in that same window. The car is now 57 years old and still running.

I can't think of a NEW car you can buy at ANY price today tht'll still be on the road just 20 years from now------let alone 57.

Anyway, who'd want to be seen in one? Can you imagine a parade WITHOUT a "Model-A" or a classic Corvette in it? I can't! When did you ever see a car show in the park without a large town turnout?

We live in a "new-car-world" today, and people need daily, fuel-efficient transportation, so there's a need for what's out there today I guess. As I've said in earlier blogs, I've never been a part of the 21st century and never will.

Fuel is getting tougher too. 104 octane at the pumps is long gone, and when you drive cars like Camaros, Cougars. 442's, GTO's and other cars from the "musclecar era" you have to buy Octane Boost along with the already-too-high gas-----if you want it to run right. ALL of the older cars before 1974 or so, SHOULD get "lead substitute" additives with each tankfull, to protect the valves from the additional HEAT from unleaded fuel. Marvel Mystery Oil works REALLY well here, 2 or 3 ounces per tank is usually sufficient.

Oh.......old cars CAN be a bit of a hassle occasionally......having to buy additives at the pumps......if you need a new water pump for a 51 Studebaker, you aren't going to find one at Schuck's......if you've just RESTORED one, you find yourself parking it way down at the other end of the Wally-World parking lot, so some idiot doesn't fling a door into it, or it doesn't get nicked by a loose shopping cart. Car Shows are a bit tense, hoping everyone will honor your paint and wax buffing, by observing the "look but please don't touch" signs, and making sure their kids do the same.....(A LOT of time, money and labor go into these cars).

There are the good things too, though.........driving something similiar to what you grew up with-----a little bit of "American Grafitti" if you will----meeting a car coming the other way and he gives you the old "thumbs-up" as you pass each other. That's pretty cool.

For ME though, it's just being able to cruise back through time, and leave 2011 behind for awhile. To lean back a little, relax, gaze across that chrome-laden instrument panel, look ahead over the long hood & fenders, big chrome hood ornament "leading the way", dice swinging from the rearview mirror, glass-packs rumbling back there......

It's right. For a "fifties kid", it's right.

And NO THEY DON'T..............not like they used to!