How to Stay Safe If You're a Man...or The Woman's Hormone Guide

Posted Thursday, March 5, 2009, at 12:07 AM

Here's another funny I'd like to share with everyone. Robert, and other single guys, pay special attention!!

The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this!

MEN SHOULD MEMORIZE THIS!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?

SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?

SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!

SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?

SAFER: Could we be overreacting?

SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?

SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?

SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.

SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

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Pass the Moscato !!!!!

-- Posted by workingbee on Thu, Mar 5, 2009, at 12:11 AM
Here! Here! Women aren't that complicated to figure out. You just proved it. Now, I think I'll have that glass of wine.

-- Posted by kimkovac on Thu, Mar 5, 2009, at 9:00 AM
*clinks wine glass with Kim and Sandra* ahhhh

-- Posted by jessiemiller on Thu, Mar 5, 2009, at 9:34 AM
Here, have some wine.

-- Posted by Beau on Thu, Mar 5, 2009, at 11:42 AM
Beau,

You're a quick learner!! Good for you!

-- Posted by Sandra Ann on Thu, Mar 5, 2009, at 1:28 PM
My daughter sent me this;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESe-AysF9mw

I'm not sure if this is what William Tell had in mind when he composed this music. But then again..........perhaps his Mom was his inspiration.

-- Posted by Beau on Fri, Mar 6, 2009, at 12:37 AM
Passing gas is not the only thing man does that makes them gross. Don't get me started on that subject. The general male population is gross by virtue of being male. :-)

I'm married to a man and we are raising a male child. He's 12 going on 13 and he's just plain gross. I love them to death, but they're just gross.

FYI: having to spend time alone with these two male beings, some of that grossness has rubbed off on me. I can be just as gross as they can, but only to impress them and win their admiration. :-)

-- Posted by Sandra Ann on Mon, Mar 9, 2009, at 6:42 PM
I was always getting in trouble by my fellow "D" truckers because I was always hanging out on the Launch trucks....;-)

What can I say...Mechanics have bigger tools!

Ut ohh....that's going to get me in trouble. :-)

-- Posted by Sandra Ann on Tue, Mar 10, 2009, at 1:30 PM
Love it, love it, love it! Sandy, how about a list for men, like DANGEROUS: "We need to talk."; SAFER: "I made bourbon and cheddar cheese soaked burgers and frys for dinner, maybe we can down a six-pack while we're eating and chat about stuff."; SAFEST: "How 'bout a little pillow talk after I'm basking in the afterglow?" ULTRA SAFE: "The 40s are in the garage fridge".

-- Posted by boomerbeth on Tue, Mar 31, 2009, at 8:28 PM
BETH,

Too funny! We could have some fun with this list for men. I'll have to think of some too! LMAO

-- Posted by Sandra Ann on Sat, Apr 4, 2009, at 2:37 AM

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