Being fat makes me late for work.

I used to weigh over 240 lbs. I had gastric bypass surgery almost 3 years ago and lost over 70 lbs in a years' time. I hit my plateau of 170 around December of 2007 and then around May of 2008, the weight started creeping back up on my middle section, right where it had been before my surgery. I feel miserable because I've gone back to my old habits.

I hate being fat and so I've started going back to the gym with several of my girlfriends. Misery loves company! Actually, with the tv screen on each machine, an hour on the treadmill goes by relatively quick. I just get funny looks from other patrons when I laugh out loud. I'm that person in the movie theater that laughs out loud at something no one else laughs at.

I also turn into the biggest klutz when I'm around one particular friend. Just call us Lucy and Ethel. In the matter of 20 minutes, I managed to make her laugh, and miss half her workout on the elliptical machine. It started when I tried to park my behemoth double cab, long bed pickup truck in the parking spot meant for a mini...and it was next to a beautiful white BMW. My friend said the owner of the BMW started to sweat profusely as I backed out and then pulled in, backed out, pulled in, and backed out one more time to finely pull it in semi-straight. She was already giggling uncontrollably before I got on the elliptical machine next to her. After around 3 minutes on that infernal machine, I headed over to the weight machines to work on my upper body strength training. I figure the stronger I am in my arms and back, the better I can park that truck. After a circuit, Ethel came over to join me on the machines and then the fun began.

It started when the lanyard around my neck got caught on the leg machine as I bent down to pick up my towel from the floor. Self strangulation is not pretty. Giggle, giggle from my friend. I proceeded to the next machine and did a few circuits before I picked up my spray bottle backwards and thoroughly sprayed my face. Giggle, giggle, and giggle again from my friend. I don't know what they put in those spray bottles but its safe to say it wasn't permanently blinding. My vision returned fully by morning.

I know the weight loss will start again as soon as my metabolism kicks back in. It has to. I'm tired of wearing spandex from my thighs to my armpits. I told my co-worker, if she sees me pass out or finds me on the floor, grab the scissors and start cutting!

Everyone realized why I was late getting to work this morning when they saw me wearing a skirt; "fighting with the pantyhose and spandex again, huh?"

Yea, but this time I won!