Editorial

Naive but not discouraged: The hard truth

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

"It shouldn't hurt to be a child." This phrase, which is Idaho's slogan for child abuse awareness, is one I would like you to keep in mind this month. As true as it is, it isn't a cure-all for child abuse, and it never will be.

I know this may be a depressing topic for some, but the most important subjects are, often, depressing. The hard truth of child abuse is all around us, cloaked in "I fell down the stairs" or "I deserved it;" lies which thinly veil the truth, yet many people accept them because further action would be too hard to face.

Abuse isn't always physical, as some may believe. Abuse also exists in mental and emotional forms, coming from parents, family members, even classmates.

Now, some of the people reading this might think it's wrong to lump in bullying with the subject of child abuse because it's a different beast altogether, but there's a reason I'm doing this. While bullying is on a different level than child abuse itself, those who do the bullying oftentimes are caught in the cycle of abuse.

Picture this: a smaller boy getting bullied by a larger classmate. Maybe the boys are fighting, maybe one is taunting the other, but at the end of the day the boys go their seperate ways.

Who do you care about more, the smaller boy or the larger classmate?

Many of you will say the smaller boy; you will be wondering if he went home to loving parents, or to siblings who would protect him at school.

How many of you thought about the larger classmate, the older boy doing the bullying?

I would say less than 15 percent of the people reading this. What about the home he went to, the siblings he has?

What so many people fail to realize is the abuse a child experiences at home can manifest into bullying behaviors in a school setting.

A child may see a classmate who has the home life he wants, and decides to take out his frustrations by bullying the other classmate, trying to make that person feel as bad as he does.

In the child's mind he rationalizes it; why should one kid get to have what he doesn't?

His classmates get to go home to what he views as a perfect family, while he goes home wondering if he'll get hit or will it be another strangely calm night. Will he get into another fight tomorrow to explain his bruises, or will it be out of pure jealousy? Will this be another night where he's left feeling ashamed of himself, or feeling like he deserves the mistreatment his family gives?

That's just the physical side of it.

Some of the painful ways children pick on each other verbally simply echoes what a child can go through at home. Phrases like "ugly," "you're such a baby," "stop being so sensitive," and more are all things kids can hear from their parents too.

Too many times, families can make children feel worthless before they even realize their worth for themselves; this can't be ignored.

If you see a child who you believe might be abused, please reach out and try to help. I know it may be uncomfortable or you may feel like you won't be able to do enough, but what if that was you?

Wouldn't you want someone to help?

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