Taking a stand against bullying

Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Using a black marker for added emphasis, Logan Potter writes some of the hateful words that students had used to describe Mikayla Beck. The two were participating in last week's "stand up to bullying" event at Mountain Home Junior High School. More than 200 children, teens and adults gathered at the school to take a stand against that form of hatred and abuse. Potter and Beck are students at Mountain Home High School. (Photo by Brian S. Orban)

"Ugly..."

"Stupid..."

"Worthless..."

"Fat..."

The list went on.

These words were all too familiar for the hundreds of individuals that gathered at Mountain Home Junior High School last week. Each one had been bullied or taunted at some point in their life. Together, they wanted to strike out these words with one other.

"Enough!"

In an act of solidarity, these individuals took a stand against this form of prejudice and hatred. It helped bring to light the emotional scars these children, teens and adults had carried inside them for years.

The "stop the bullying" event on April 29 began after Tanya Perry sought to do something positive for her daughter, Elizabeth, who was being bullied in school.

A sixth grader at Hacker Middle School, the teen said the taunting began when she started fifth grade. At first, it wasn't too bad, it got significantly worse when she started school last fall.

"Apparently I wasn't good enough," Perry said as she described the comments she heard from some students. "I have absolutely crazy hair, and apparently they felt I was also fat."

Wanting to help her daughter find days to deal with bullies, her mother turned to Facebook and other social media outlets for some possible solutions. She wanted to reach out to someone in Mountain Home "to show her how beautiful she is," Perry said.

Her efforts led her to meet with Michele Agustin, a local photographer and makeup artist, who planned to give Perry a beauty makeover. Joining the teen was Mckenzie Mellot, another student who also dealt firsthand with bullying.

Agustin then held a photo shoot to capture the transformation of both children.

She took both youngsters under her wing, "and gave them both a Cinderella story," Perry said.

"I wanted to show them that they have a person on their side," Agustin added.

But that was only the beginning. The portrait photographer hoped to help others in the Mountain Home area who were victimized by bullying. She wanted to show others the types of hateful words these people have dealt with over the years.

To make the message more vivid, Agustin envisioned having volunteers actually write the bullying words on their skin in big, bold letters to make them clearly visible on their arms, neck or face. Posting the idea through various social media outlets, she expected she might receive 10 replies at best.

What happened next was something she never expected.

When Agustin woke the next morning, she had already received more than 100 e-mails along with 50 additional messages through other social media outlets. Each person wanted to get involved in this effort.

"I was crying; I was overwhelmed," she said. "I knew these people needed to be heard."

By now, word had reached beyond Mountain Home to people like Miss Idaho USA Yvette Bennett and Miss Idaho Teen USA Hannah Menzner as well as other local beauty queens. Each of them also wanted to get involved.

What started out as a simple photo shoot at her home-based studio rapidly grew into a community event. Even with the short-notice change in date and location, more than 200 people gathered in the commons area at Mountain Home Junior High School wanting to share a common message.

"We were just going to let the community know that bullying is ridiculous," she said.

But it wasn't limited to just people from Mountain Home. It brought together individuals and families from across the state. At least one family made the trek from Burley with others coming from Utah and Texas.

Each person had their own story they wanted to share in words and photographs.

"I've been bullied my whole life in this town, so this hits home for me," said Jennifer Knight.

Throughout her years of school, she was always teased as being "the heavy girl -- the fat girl," she said.

For Knight, the event was a way to empower children and teens while raising awareness that bullying is not OK.

Logan Potter was one of many students from Mountain Home High School that gathered to let their voices be heard.

"Ever since I was little, I was into school and reading books," said Potter. "I've been a nerd since kindergarten."

For a while, she became self conscious about being stereotyped as a nerd or geek. At one point, she tried to fit in with the accepted "norm" at school.

But it didn't seem to help. During her two years at the junior high school, the bullying worsened with "a lot of stupid rumors" directly targeting her. Undeterred, Potter refused to give in to this type of peer pressure and today finds relief in just being herself regardless of what others think.

"I'm kind of a geek and proud of it," she said.

But bullying wasn't limited to teens. Youngsters like Alyson Holwege were singled out and called a "nerd" and a "weirdo" simply because they needed to wear glasses.

"She was told that she looked like an old woman due to her glasses," said her mother, Kristi Holwege.

It wasn't the first time the Holwege family has dealt with bullies. Their oldest daughter was attacked by students, who held her down and threw rocks at her, one of which hit and broke one of her teeth.

Trevin Conley, a freshman at Mountain Home High School, has also dealt with the physical trauma associated with bullying.

"They called me names. I got beaten up. I got my head dunked in a toilet at school," he said.

But what frustrates Conley most is the reason for these unprovoked attacks.

"They never said why they did it," he said.

Others like Sagan Condon continue to deal with the emotional scars left behind by taunting and bullying.

"I lost one of my friends due to suicide in seventh grade because he felt no one loved him," Condon said.

Her own struggles began during her freshman year of high school. She was taunted because she didn't have "all the nice things" that students from wealthier families owned.

However, it was the constant criticism she received from her fellow students over her weight that caused her to take a dangerous path.

"I became anorexic. I have an eating disorder... all because of what they said to me," Condon said.

After her family moved the following year, she began rebuilding her self confidence while discovering a new love for music. However, that passion led to renewed taunting after she was called a "music geek."

While she admits her life has changed for the better, Condon continues to deal with the emotional damage she suffered in school. She still struggles with anorexia and eats just one meal a day.

Some attending last week's gathering were there for moral support. Geoffrey Kelly and his wife, Natashia, wanted to find a way to help others.

"Mountain Home is a close community, and to see the number of people influenced by bullying and how many have been impacted by bullying is just amazing," added Robert Perry, who also brought his family.

Megan Ehardt brought her six-year-old son to the event.

"I wanted him to see that you can be strong and stand up against bullying," she said.

Agustin also knows firsthand the damage that bullying can cause. She almost lost her daughter to suicide after she was repeatedly tormented by students at the high school.

Today, her daughter has put that pain behind her. An advocate against bullying, she speaks on behalf of those who otherwise have no voice.

Having to read the messages written on these individuals took its toll on Agustin as she photographed each person. She often caught herself wiping away tears as she heard their stories.

"I didn't expect this photo shoot to be so hard," she said. "Hearing their stories, I had to just hold them and tell them that what they had written were just words. I hope this town finally gets a wake-up call and realizes we need to speak and be heard. Words hurt, and no one should ever feel worthless."

Agustin hopes that the photos she shot that afternoon will appear in a variety of anti-bullying efforts across the state.

But she's only getting started. In addition to doing a follow-up photo shoot in Mountain Home in coming months, she plans to host similar events in other communities across the state.

While some people that attended the event last week still struggled to come to terms with the pain they suffered at the hands of bullies, a few found the strength they needed.

"I don't want to be perfect. I just want to have fun," Perry said.