Tongue in cheek, reader reacts to GOP convention proposals

Dear editor:

In a feudal community very close to here, a power monger state-head has seized his galactic empire.

The relinquishing government officials fall prey to this minion emperor who finds one who reigns with an oppressive, freedom-vacuum of terror and fear -- Darth Redroc. Their horrific weapon to bring terror to the citizens of the Grand Old Republic is their newly re-invented Debt Star, a giant oppressive government-entity-controlled weapon capable of annihilating the peasant's currency system in less than two years.

We join our patriotic allies as a true leader has stolen the master plans of the Debt Star in Sandpoint, Idaho. He's only known as the Austrian Economist Nuropal. Princess Larma Waslon is deterred by Darth Redroc from the Republic. She instructs the rebels to follow the Faith and that is the True Foundation of all that is to be.

Many members object from all internal layers and levels saying we don't have the numbers, the percentages are against us. Then she reassures them that the numbers, when configured and utilized properly, far outweigh the seeming strength of the dark side.

They plead, "Give us the facts that we too can be strengthened."

As Larma unfurls the parchment her cousin prepared, she said, "This number, 5,030, is the total True representation of all forces in our combined lands affecting you. We know 3,396 have demonstrated their support and our opposition seems few but beware of the Trojan Horse where we find this number 1,634.

The Emperor and Darth would have us believe they are victorious because of their perceived numbers, but all factors considered, as even Darth would admit, "Serfs degrade if left to their own devices." That is why we need to inform them of this last number -- the infiltrators of our camp numbered at 1,269.

"Larma," the people pleaded, "Will there be more?" Larma responded, "I have been given the trust of the Force in that they who numbered twenty-five score have given me position amidst the executive ranks gratefully four-fifths were of the knight's realm. Keep in mind, the new platform has been built and will be the foundation and launching pad for many successes to come. As scribe I carry forward the task of Secret Keeper."

Goeff Forth

Word Guardian, Knight of the Convention