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Thursday, March 23, 2017

Some Assembly Required

Posted Friday, February 24, 2012, at 1:06 AM

Gavin, our third Grandchild.
Some Assembly Required takes teamwork. The chief assembler and two helpers. The First Helper is the runner, they fetch tools, Valiums and band-aids. The Second Helper is the translator. They read the incomprehensible instructions and interpret the hidden meanings to the terms point A and Point B.

I never could understand why men would say choice words when assembling a piece of furniture or toy, until I put together a metal sheving unit by myself. After sweating profusely for several hours and saying a few curse words myself--I had a small metal shelf that wobbled; a few cuts and some leftover hardware.

"The very words, "Some Assembly Required", can fill an entire household with dread. "Honey Do" projects that require the translation of assembly instructions written in three or four different languages, have been known to cause a strain in the most solid of marriages.

Something always comes up missing no matter how careful you are. Those evil Styrofoam peanuts plot together to hide the last of the essential hardware pieces needed to complete your project.

If the assembler is slightly paranoid, they will be certain that this was intentional on the manufactures part. More resourceful individuals wisely keep a supply of duct tape on hand. Others will take everything out of the box, read the instructions and plot their strategy for the next six months.

We all have our methods of madness to get past those dreaded words: "Some Assembly Required". The storm of frustration will soon pass and the family dog will come out of his hiding place. Family relations will be healed as you sit down to enjoy the fruits of your labor in front of your new entertainment center or home theater system.

No one will never know that you paid the neighbor boy $40.00 to get the project completed before your wife got home.

Showing comments in chronological order
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That's a good one Bonnie!

-- Posted by royincaldwell on Fri, Feb 24, 2012, at 5:22 AM

thank you. I have been so sick, that I wasn't sure if I could get a blog out this week or not.

-- Posted by KH Gal on Fri, Feb 24, 2012, at 6:31 AM

Good one Bonnie...I hope you are feeling better!

-- Posted by jessiemiller on Fri, Feb 24, 2012, at 9:15 AM

Don't you just love it when they leave out the instructions or some small screw that makes you scratching your head trying to figure it out. I remember many Christmas Eve's when my boys were little trying to put toys together.

Hope you get to feeling better soon.

-- Posted by MsMarylin on Fri, Feb 24, 2012, at 9:49 AM

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Walking the Fence Line
Bonnie Bird
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Fixing fence is the one of the hardest jobs on a ranch. I no longer live on a ranch, but I do know what hard work is. Fences are everyone's concern, but nowadays,the "hole" is always your neighbor's side not your own. It used to be that you would respect your neighbor and mend the fence together. If their cows got in your field, a simple phone call resolved the problem. You might even saddle up your own horse and help them gather them up. We need more people who are willing to roll their sleeves up and fix the fence regardless of who your neighbor is. There are people in this country who need to be reminded that a fence is like the way you should conduct your life. Your posts should be straight and neat. The wire needs to be stretched tight and your gate might be closed, but can still be easily opened. And most of all, we can all saddle up together and ride the range, it won't matter if you have an Appaloosa, Quarter Horse or Thoroughbred. The cows still have to be gathered, fences have to be fixed, and the range is a wide open space of opportunity for us all.
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