It's more common than you think.

I wrote a blog on this a few months ago, but decided I wasn't comfortable sharing my story just yet.

But now I'm angry. I've let this sit in my heart for a few days, but instead of it settling, I've only grown more angry and hurt.

On Wednesday, a 14 year old's rapist got off with a 31 day jail sentence. 30 days if you count the credit.

It was six years ago when I was 14. Six years ago, I was constantly told how mature I was for my age. I was smart and polite and well-spoken.

And six years ago, in my vulnerable state, he took advantage of me. He wasn't my teacher, but he possessed power over me - a power he'd created by feeding me, "No one else will ever want you but me," and kicking me out when I said no. I never felt comfortable saying no.

I finally said yes when the pressure got to be too much.

It took me a year to realize I'd been raped and had been in an abusive relationship.

He threatened to kill himself when I tried to leave. As a 14 year old, that pressure is too much. I stayed, scared to have blood on my hands. A very fortunate trouble-making incident got me out via my parents.

It took me six years to come to terms with what happen. It took me six years to explain to my mother, a victim's advocate, what happened to me. Discussing it in the context of victim advocacy gets me so shaken I can't speak through the sobbing.

Our culture has a hard time with issues surrounding sex. And it's hurting important conversations and putting us at risk.

Victim blaming is never OK. The 14 year old in this week's case was a victim of abuse. She might have verbally consented, and she may have been mature for her age. But that doesn't make what happened OK. Obviously, because her situation took a turn for the worse. She's dead. And this man got 30 days in jail.

We need to thoroughly teach our teens about relationship abuse. I was 15 when we finally got to it in an elective course. It was never discussed in my mandated health course.

Consent is not necessarily a verbal yes. It is enthusiastic participation in an environment where any involved party feels comfortable saying "no" at any point, no matter what.

We cannot shame our children for curiosity or mistakes. We cannot hide the reality of sex for fear that we'll end up with an influx of teen pregnancies. Frank, open discussions on sex, abuse, and contraception are part of a tested combination that can reduce teen pregnancy, STD spread, and rape.

Abstinence, of course, is the only 100-percent effect way to avoid the first two. It was a policy I'd planned to enforce and tried to, until my abuser made it feel unsafe to keep saying no.

I was ashamed and scared. He called me a slut for saying yes, and told me I'd be made fun of for giving it up so young. He told me I was filthy for sleeping with him. When fate finally ended the relationship, he maintained a modicum of control over me, spreading vile rumors about me until he moved.

His words still hold power over me. Over my self-image, over my relationship with my fiance, over my interactions as I try to help other victims and survivors cope with what's happened to them.

I hope that what I've shared makes you think about instances like these. I hope, if you are a parent, you're thinking about this if and when "the talk" comes.

Never, in a million years, will I ever blame what happened to me on my parents. The blame rests solely on the shoulders of the man who abused and raped me. But with hindsight 20/20, we can all move forward to educating young men and women and providing a safe place for them to come forward when they feel uncomfortable.