Talking- What A Novel Idea!

One of the biggest causes of our problems in many aspects of our lives is the lack of ability to communicate effectively. We often like to use other forms of communicating such as yelling, screaming, threatening and even hitting. All of these are forms of communication but they are also all inappropriate, especially when dealing with our children. Think about this. What is going to be your child's reaction if you yell, scream or hit? Are they going to react positively? They may be more obedient but only because they now are full of fear. Just think of the message you are sending your kids. If you make people fearful of you then you can control them. That is exactly what our world doesn't need more of, bullies. I don't think anyone can honestly say that when they treat their kids in this manner that they feel good about themselves. The best way to communicate is by talking and expressing how you feel. Talk about your concerns and why things are wrong and right. Sometimes the tone of our voice may need to change to stress important points but it never needs to resort to yelling. If your kid is lost in the store then it would be appropriate to yell their name. If they are headed for danger such as a busy road you may need to yell to get their attention and warn them of danger. But, if your kid is doing wrong and hanging with bad friends yelling most likely isn't going to solve that problem. It will probably only make it worse.

I can remember when I was a kid. I made lots of mistakes. I can remember my parents taking advantage of those opportunities to teach me so that I could learn and be prepared for next time. We would sit down and talk about what happened. It was a positive experience for all of us. I can also remember some times when I would get yelled at for my behavior. Yelling just caused more problems because we would all have to eventually sit down and apologize for all the mean things we said when we yelled. It kind of seems to me that it would have been easier to just talk rationally in the first place.

Many problems have been blamed on lack of communication; divorces, feuds, friend-breakups, school yard fights, wars, lies, deception, misdemeanors and felonies. What would happen if people actually talked about what they were feeling instead of keeping it all bottled up inside? Talking -- what a novel idea. Parents would divorce less often, children could talk to parents about their problems and concerns, families would be happier and most likely I would be out of a job. So instead of putting myself out of work why don't we just try to communicate effectively 75% of the time. That would still give me an opportunity to stay employed.

I am not sure who said it, but have you ever heard that saying, "Talk is cheap"? If it really is so cheap then why are we not doing more? If it was expensive then I would understand, but it is cheap. Yet while the price may be cheap the quality is grand. I can take a look at my life and identify many opportunities that I have messed up because I didn't take the chance to talk to someone. We can't let too many of these opportunities pass us by or we will end up living in a world full of regrets. Let's all try a little harder to open our mouths; not to yawn, yell, or yodel, but to communicate.