The Courtiers and The King

Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee met on Thursday to try and figure out what can be done about the growing number of "Czars" in the Obama Administration. Susan Collins (R-Maine), the panel's ranking Republican, asserted herself and set the tone of the meeting by protesting, "This bumper crop of czars has left the public and the Congress with many worrisome, bottom-line questions," she said. "Who is in charge?"

That is the problem, right there. The name "Czar" was not a good name because it has such negative connotations. Perhaps this wouldn't be such an issue if these appointed people could be labeled differently. Like Courtiers to the King, their job is simple but, oh so critical to the success of the Presidency. Let's put this into perspective. I think I will let the words of Sen. Bob Bennett (R-Utah) make it more clear. "The White House is a court, the president is the king, the White House staffers are courtiers," he said, "and it is the century-long duty of every courtier to keep everybody else from having access to the king." There ya go, people. We should rename them. Would that help the RWE, Religious Zealots and Red-necks to accept it? As Obama always says, "Don't tell me words don't matter." Let me see if I can help you understand the Czar's importance with my words.

CZARs? It's just a word! So what, the President has more of them than the royal Romanov's in Russia. Big deal, right? What exactly is the problem? These are just people that the President feels will focus on the important issues that Obama needs to get a handle on. Obama is just one man, right? He can't deal with all of these problems so he appoints an "expert" to go forth, look over the current situation and report back to him. These appointed Czars are key positions with important policy-changing potential. The need to appoint them quickly was paramount therefore it needed to be done without the long-drawn out pesky Congressional interviews and risky votes. This is not a conspiracy to take over the country with a troupe of heavy-hands! This is simply a management decision made by the CEO of the country. Obama needs them to put out these numerous little fires so that the President can keep his eyes on the more pressing prizes.

The President needs to micro-manage these other issues in order to be able to hop on Air Force One and attend all those critically important media interviews. For goodness sakes, people! There were back to back interviews with radio, TV and journalists to tend to. Jeeze, he barely had time to breath between these appearances. Sure, the Prez is a little bit of a camera-hog, but Obama's media blitz was setting records! How do you expect him to break records and go where no President has gone before if he had to actually give his attention to all of those secondary issues, like money and finance, or green jobs or science discoveries, or car companies? There are cameras waiting, media waits for no man! Obama can't be expected to be in multiple places at once! He needed his Czars to do their job so he can go and fight for Chicago to get the Olympics. Let's be reasonable, here.

Freed from the overwhelming issues, Obama can focus on the real roll-up-your-sleeves work like what species to appoint the great honor of "First Dog" or the more important exhaustive fight to capture the prize called World Peace. How did you expect him to win that Nobel Prize without touring the world and explaining his position on global warming and carbon emissions? He had to smooth things over by making countless spirited speeches in order to dispel the myth that America was a nation of red-necked, gunslingers. World peace can't be won without ridding the folklore that the United States people are Muslim-hating, war-hungry, backwoods-deliverance banjo players with a bible in one hand and a weapon in the other. Obama had to admit to our faults, and call us materialistic spoiled brats who have seen the light of redemption. He must convince our allies and future friends that Americans are not eager to oppress the races of the world into submission Making friends out of past enemies is exhaustive work that must be done in order to appease and gain the world. Obama has the taunting task of righting all the wrongs of the Bush Administration and you can't expect that to be done if he doesn't have these Czars to hold down the fort! So let's just leave this alone, people. Let his Czars do their work and give the President the space he needs to promote the real policy changes that this country needs. Somebody has got to do the dirty work and you certainly can't expect the King of the richest nation in the world to be bogged down with incidental crap. That is the stuff of the court's courtiers and not befitting the King.