Hardcore Pawn seems as real as pro-wrestling

Instead of being a productive member of society, I spent the day watching "Hardcore Pawn." The show is a complete train wreck. It's a lot like "Pawn Stars" but not.

Like "Pawn Stars," the show follows the owners of a family-owned pawn shop, American Jewelry and Loan. Unlike "Pawn Stars," which focuses on the items customers bring into the store, "Hardcore Pawn" focuses on the people who enter their store.

Generally, at least the following things happen every episode: 1) someone comes in and demands an unreasonable amount of money for their item (perhaps $400 on a flat screen TV) and is offered a much smaller amount (perhaps $100) or told the store isn't interested in the item. The customer then starts yelling and demanding that the employee pays them the amount they are seeking. Then they are asked to leave and are often escorted out of the store by security. (I tried to find a clip of this happening to link to, but I couldn't find a family-friendly clip. YouTube.) 2) Someone comes in with an interesting item and Les Gold, the owner of the store, offers them a low-ball number for the item without doing any research on the item or brining someone to look at it.

On "Pawn Stars," owner Rick Harrison has a "guy" for everything. He's got a "car guy," a "U.S. history guy," a "toy guy," a "gun guy," a "guitar guy," a "sports memorabilia guy" and more. He probably even has a "guy guy" who finds him new guys when he needs an expert on something. A customer will bring something in, he'll admit that he doesn't know enough about the item and then will call someone in to look at it. The expert will look at it, sometimes help determine a value, then leave and the owner and Rick will negotiate a price.

On "Hardcore Pawn," Les will admit he has no idea how much the item is worth and then offer a low-ball amount without brining anyone in or doing any research on his own. His strategy seems to be start with $50 and offer an insulting low amount of money until the owner either accepts the bid or decides to leave. As a result, the store appears to lack very many items with a "wow factor" and is full of electronics and other cheap items.

"Hardcore Pawn" is located in Detroit, a city that has done more than fallen on hard times recently and Les knows this. He also knows that people who enter his pawn shop are likely to be desperate for cash. He is either too lazy to do the research to have top items in his store, too risk-adverse to take the items that may not sale in the middle of Detroit, or has decided everyone who comes into his store is to be taken advantage of and isn't worth dealing with fairly.

The third thing that happens in every episode is someone finds a way to be banished from the store. Most of the time it's a customer who also completed number one on this list, but there are other ways to get banned from the shop. Not liking Ashley, Les' daughter and one of the managers, seems to be a popular way to get banned. She looks a lot like Will and Grace's Karen, but she's not funny. Another way to earn a lifetime of banishment is to smash a guitar you couldn't sell in the parking lot. Or hitting your significant other in the store seemed to do the trick, too. Security guards get no shortage of work inside the shop.

I haven't seen a show that seemed as scripted and drama-forced since I used to watch professional wrestling in junior high. World Wrestling Entertainment president Vince McMahon admitted as much, declared professional wrestling to be fake and started calling his business "sports entertainment" instead of a professional sport. If pawn shops are a professional business, "Hardcore Pawn" is pawn shop entertainment.